Hello from Alabama; USA

[ArmyCop]

Thought I'd add this forum to my weekly routine. I'm a Combat OIF Iraq veteran, prior small city Reserve Police Officer - presently a Federal Police Officer for the Department of Veterans Affairs (neat title while duties are mostly like Security Guard for medical clinic - difference being I have arrest powers).

Just saw on the news about Uganda taking a radical stance against homosexuals - is that anywhere near where any of you guys live?

Forgive my ignorance - I'm Geographically Challenged.

[Sean Murphy]

Uganda is a few thousand miles to the North of us with a few other countries in between.

Welcome to the site, hope you enjoy it.

Sean.

[BigT]

Welcome dude

[FrankH]

To be more specific,as close as Alabama is, to Alberta in Canada.

Welcome and enjoy :ch

[ArmyCop]

To be more specific,as close as Alabama is, to Alberta in Canada.

Welcome and enjoy :ch

Whoa! Ok, that puts it into perspective. Thanks..

[PistolBoy]

Welcome

[Geoff Carter]

Welcome to Gunsite!

[Brendank]

Welcome ArmyCop, good to have you on board!

[wrm]

Heya

I have a friend in Abalama, he drives a VW bus. Also know a gunny type in Birmingham, havn't spoken to her for a while though.

In South Africa we're extremely tolerant towards gays, polygamists, taxi drivers, single mothers, cash in transit robbers and three fingered psychopathic bikers. We only persecute legal gun owners... *grin*

[Just Plain Phil]

Hi, there's your Welcome Pack.
This should answer most of your questions.
Oh, never, but never take us serious.

Meine Ehre heißt Treue


These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner (great sense of humour!).

Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it’s only two thousand kilometres take lots of water…

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes…

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey’s Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not…oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )
A: No, WE don ‘t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we’ll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can di spense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.